Reading a classmate’s blog today, I saw something mentioned about a refinery, for gasoline to keep the boats and vaporetti running. This struck me quite hard, because up until that moment, I had not considered that the boats which run here constantly need fuel to continue to run constantly. I have not seen one gassing up, but perhaps that’s because I’ve just been in the wrong part of the city to be able to see that. And as I’ve said, I hadn’t even thought about how the many boats do need fuel to continue their trips up and down canals and around the lagoon. I suppose that to my mind, the boats ran simply because they are supposed to, because this is Venice and it has boats, which I see going constantly. I had not thought about them stopping to replenish their fuel supply. It seems like such an almost vulgar, corporeal thing. I am used to seeing cars getting gas at home and having to go about that weekly chore myself, but in Venice, for some reason, a gas station seems wildly inappropriate, even if it’s for boats. Maybe it has to do with the fact that there are no cars here, so I expect to see no gas stations here. Or maybe it has to do more with the fact that I am still clinging to the myth of Venice, rather than fully seeing the reality, even if it is right before my eyes.
A tourist doesn’t stop and think about how the boats run, about where and when they get fuel. All a tourist wants to know is when and where to catch the next vaporetto, as I heard a clearly American gentleman asking one of the workers at the ACTV booth by the San Servolo stop, loudly and slowly in English. I smiled to myself at his blatant touristicness, but then I realized that I’ve caught myself doing the same thing, trying to speak simple sentences to make myself understood, sometimes getting progressively louder, until I catch myself and modulate my voice. Between that experience and reading about the gasoline refinery today, I find myself wondering why it is that I am still clinging to this myth of Venice. After all of our class discussions and readings, after all the analysis we have been doing on the city, shouldn’t I be past this myth, this simulacrum of the city which I have built in my mind? Shouldn’t I be grounding myself more in the reality of Venice, rather than the Venice I imagine? Five weeks into the course, why do I still feel this disconnect with the reality of the city?
Maybe it has to do with the fact that out on San Servolo, which I like to think of as “our island”, there is a very literal, physical removal from Venice, the main portion of it, anyway. From the vaporetto stop on the island, I can look across the lagoon and see the buildings and campanili of Venice, as often as not with the snow-covered Alps piercing the sky behind them, and I find it beautiful, like a postcard, but I feel removed from it. I don’t feel like a part of the real, living, breathing city and at times, when I stand on the vaporetto stop and look across the water, I don’t even feel that Venice is a living, breathing city. It seems more like a mirage or a myth, which rose from the sea like Venus and which will one day simply grow hazy and disappear, leaving only an unobstructed view of the mountains behind it. Even when we descend into the city, as a class, there is still a disconnect from the everyday world. We are in our circle, discussing architecture, off to the side, while the life of the city is flowing around us. We are enveloping ourselves in the past, while the present is floating by and then away. This is not to suggest that we should not concern ourselves with the past and its architecture. Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, after all, and most buildings, especially modern buildings, can do without creepy camels on their facades. No, I am not suggesting that it is wrong to study the art and architecture and the past of Venice, because I find it fascinating; I am simply trying to uncover why I am still attached to my myth of Venice, rather than the reality of the city around me.
There have been times when I can see the city for what it is, rather than what I imagine it to be, both in good ways and bad ways. For instance, walking down the front yesterday, I must have seen at least thirty “purse guys”, the men who stand out on the sidewalk trying to hawk the wares laid out on the blanket in front of them, and at least half of them or more tried to talk to me, to stop me and get me to buy something. I consider that seeing the bad reality of Venice, because annoying purse guys are not something that typically crops up in someone’s fantasy of the city. But then I walked down Via Garibaldi, just wandered up and down the street for awhile, and saw the good reality of Venice, in the normal people going about their daily lives, with far less tourists around than can be seen in other parts of the city. And for that time, while I was immersed in the living, daily business part of the city, the reality before me was stronger than the myth in my mind.
So it seems that I hold on to my myth of Venice, not because I am incapable of seeing the reality, but perhaps because I choose not to. Despite our readings, despite our four times weekly discussions of them and our dissemination of the myth of Venice, in our attempt to probe the reality of the city which underlies the myth, despite all this evidence that I should give up my own myth of Venice and accept the reality of the city alone, still, I cannot do it. Because I like my myth of Venice. Because to me, it represents the Venice I came here for, the city I flew four thousand miles to see. I do my readings and I participate in the class discussions in order to get a fuller picture, a stronger image, of the true city as it exists today, strongly, blatantly corporeal, sometimes vulgar, but also brazenly real. But at the same time, deep down, I still hold to my myth, I still cling to my image of Venice. Because long after the words of Foucault and Ruskin have faded from my mind, the images I have collected in it of Venice will still be burning. Images like that of flying over Venice, seeing for the first time with my own eyes the city rising out of the sea like Botticelli’s Venus, and almost crying because it was so beautiful and I was so exhausted and relieved to see it. And the day I went, alone, to Piazza San Marco and simply stood in the middle of the square, with the columns at my back, the basilica in front of me, the Palazzo Ducale to one side and the biblioteca to the other, with the campanile soaring above it all, and simply let myself be overwhelmed by the massiveness and the majesty of it. Those images, though they may be the perpetuation of a myth, still I feel, deep down, that they are the Venice that I will take home with me.
But I think perhaps all travelers feel that way. Even the ones who know and understand a city the best, still, there is a part of them which has built it up, placed it somehow on a pedestal from which they refuse to remove it. Because even though we, the travelers, see firsthand the vulgar and negative parts of the city, the parts that aren’t always mentioned in guidebooks, we still feel a love for the city to which we have gone and we want others to love it, too. And so we choose to perpetuate the myth, to keep the city on its pedestal, so that others, the ones who have not been here, can also feel for it as we do. We hide the bad and bring forth the good, the positive, the best of the city, all to keep from killing the myth. Because for a city like Venice, so linked to its tourism industry, so bound up with its myth, to kill the myth would be to kill the city. People don’t travel thousands of miles to Venice for the reality of the city, to see boats getting gas and the carabinieri chasing away the purse guys, they come to see the myth of Venice, the breathtaking Piazza San Marco, the awe-inspiring churches, and yes, even the gondole. So, to keep the myth going, to keep the city alive, it is necessary to perpetuate the myth, even to ourselves.
And maybe, in the end, it is possible to have both the reality and the myth, for one could not exist without the other. There can be no myth without there first being a reality on which it can be based. Equally, there is no reality which did not, at some point, for someone, grow out of a myth, or a dream. So I will continue to try to have both, to appreciate Venice for its glorious, fascinating, infuriating reality, but at the same time also to hold onto my myth, which helps to shed just a little extra beauty on a city that, for the most part, doesn’t need the extra help. And I think, if I can find the time, I will also try to find a gas station for boats. Just to be sure it’s not a myth.